Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize