C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
