All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
