considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
