oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
