my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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