Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
