Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
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