That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
