I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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