we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
