im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
