I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize