Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
