can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
