the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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