So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize