just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I love you.
Bad choice
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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