wat bout pragnant strippers??
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
