I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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