his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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