Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
