You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Having a random hookup so left but love u
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
