before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
YAS. BRING CRAB.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
