No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
