Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
