tell your sister to shave her snatch
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
