Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
