Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Randomize