Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
