You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
