FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
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