My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
