Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
