it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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