My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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