I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
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