I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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