Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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