before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
