Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
