No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
