How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
