Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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