Apparently you make a good broom.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
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