put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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