One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
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