i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Randomize