Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
