she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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