im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
