Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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