I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
