all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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