i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
