I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
