Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
