Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
