I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
FUCK WHALES
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize
