You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I'm sobbing to NWA
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
