it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize
