I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
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